“Are you worried about the economy? If so, pay close attention, because in an economic meltdown, non-hybrid seeds could become more valuable than even silver and gold.”

That almost makes sense…until you discover these words came out of the mouth of a pitchman selling $150 packages of seeds in between Glenn Beck’s inveterate weeping about socialism-fascism-Nazism-[insert ism of choice]ism and Hawaiian birth certificates, and things take a turn for creepy.

Fear is a powerful motivator, and when millions of people across the country are waiting for Armageddon, advertising a “Survival Seed Bank” on the Glenn Beck show could be a slick business move.

The Survival Seed Bank website pushes the fear even further: “You don’t have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what’s going on all around us. As the meltdown progresses, one of the first things to be affected will be our nation’s food supply. Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring. If you don’t have the ability to grow your own food next year, your life may be in danger.”

And yet – when you peel away the layers of paranoia and b.s., what this comes down to is motivating people to take control of their own food supply. In that sense, ‘crisis gardens’ aren’t all that different from the green movement that encourages one to grow whatever food one can at home. While the bogeyman for Glenn Beck viewers is a liberalism-delivered (I think that’s the right ism) apocalypse, for us it’s mammoth corporations destroying the environment while shoveling toxic Franken-food into our mouths.

The key here is for people not to hoard seeds until that fabled day when the sky falls, but to actually plant them. We can all benefit from the pleasure of eating more fresh-from-the-garden foods that don’t have to travel further than a few yards to our plates. Plant heirloom seeds, gather the seeds produced by those crops every season, and you’ll have more than enough to tuck some away for a rainy day.

You’ll be better off selecting your own heirloom seeds from a source like the Seed Savers Exchange than funding a Glenn Beck advertiser, but even the Survivalist Seed Bank sells heirloom varieties.

Image: OakleyOriginals

Are lawns going the way of the Noughties? First Lady Michelle Obama replaced part of the White House lawn with an organic vegetable garden, and it seems the rest of the country is poised to follow suit – edible front yards have been called the biggest gardening trend of 2010. It’s no wonder – fresh, homegrown vegetables are a far better use of energy and resources than a useless swath of grass.

And though ugly patches of dirt, ratty row covers and wire tomato cages can sometimes make front yard vegetable gardens the horticultural equivalent of a busted car on cinder blocks, it doesn’t have to be that way.  You can please a picky neighbor, satisfy your own aesthetic standards and feed your family all at once with these beautiful edible landscaping methods.

Murder the Grass and Mulch, Mulch, Mulch

If you’ve got visions of backbreaking labor, rented heavy equipment and weed-killing chemicals dancing in your head, relax. For once, the easiest way is in fact the best way. All you have to do is break down brown cardboard boxes, lay them on your lawn with the edges overlapping, soak them with water and cover them with two inches of weed-free compost and an inch or two of mulch. Sustainable Gardening Australia has all the details on this simple, sustainable process.

While it does take a while for the cardboard to break down and the grass to die, you can begin planting right away. Just cut holes in the cardboard where you want to insert plants, or dig up small areas where you’ll be putting in garden beds.

Landscape with Attractive Edibles

There’s no rule that says you have to plant vegetables in neat little rows like a farmer. Why not plant edibles in patterns that are not just biologically appropriate, but visually stimulating?

If you’re already a gardener, but have focused on ornamental plants rather than edibles, you probably already have flowerbeds in your yard. An easy way to test the waters with gardening for food is to simply replace some of those pretty but inedible plants with fruits, vegetables and herbs. Plant lavender and strawberries instead of flowers, kale and cabbage in place of hostas, carrots and chives rather than ornamental grasses. Tuck nasturtiums and marigolds in with your tomatoes and cucumbers to provide a touch of color and some ground cover to boot.

This method doesn’t just preserve the aesthetics of your yard – and allow you to keep a portion of your lawn, if you wanted to – it can also be beneficial to the plants you grow. Check out this companion planting chart to see which crops work together and Treehugger’s gallery of gorgeous edibles, and go from there.

Make Raised Beds for Visual Interest

So what if you don’t have the greatest soil for gardening? Clay, sand and rocky soil can pose a problem for gardeners who want to get started growing food as soon as possible, because amending soil takes time. But there’s a quick, simple solution that’s also easy on the eyes: raised beds.

Raised garden beds can go right on top of existing soil and lawn, and they’ve got a lot of advantages over planting right in the ground. They warm up quickly in the spring, drain easily, keep weeds out, raise the planting area for gardening ease and give you a lot of control over the type of soil used for particular plants.

Raised beds can be made from all sorts of materials from corrugated tin to cinder blocks, but many people simply use 2”x6” cedar or pressure-treated wood boards to create custom boxes filled with layered cardboard, mulch, compost and soil. Surrounded by stone or mulch paths, these compact little gardens can add a lot of visual interest to your yard.

Images credits:

(Top) Edible Estates Regional Prototype Garden #6: Baltimore Maryland,” 2008
Commissioned by The Contemporary Museum Baltimore – Photo by Leslie Furlong

(Third down) Edible Estates Regional Prototype Garden #4: London, England,” 2007
Commissioned by Tate Modern – Photo by Fritz Haeg

Green Garden Vienna and  Hortulus

Remember the saying “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”? Ain’t exactly true, especially if you get on board and participate in the National Garden Commission’s One Million Gardens campaign. They’ve teamed up with Edible Gardens to  give away a free assortment of heirloom seeds in celebration of National Gardening Month this April. (And now that you know growing vegetables is easy, you’re out of excuses.)

A handful of these seeds and you could turn your backyard into a mini-food farm, even growing enough to feed the family and invite the neighbors over for lunch. It will take a little time and effort, but the results will be worth it.

All you have to do is register at onemilliongardens.com and they will send you a seed packet containing  4-6 varieties of  heirloom veggies to plant. The site also provides a 52-week online course on backyard gardening, with videos, tips, a social network, free gardening supplies and updates on related events.

The aim of the One Million Gardens campaign is to have a million urban courtyards and backyards growing food gardens by 2012.

Why not help them achieve it?

P.S. Bring out that green thumb with the complete guide to composting and tips for healthy soil.

Image: net_efekt