Everyone’s dishing about how the concept of food trucks has been overhauled. They’re not just parked at job sites to feed hungry laborers anymore, but are taking the high road and giving restaurants a run for their money.

I got a taste of the trend at the posh 50th birthday party of a friend in San Francisco where a taco mobile was stationed at the entrance to the upscale house, titillating guests who lined up to order bean burritos and cheese quesadillas while nursing lemon drop martinis.

“Is the meat organic?” I asked my hostess, surveying the two men cooking frenetically behind the sliding window. “Of course it is,” she said. “We keep kosher!”

Guess it’s getting way kosher to peddle all kinds of culinary delights from a truck as the recession drags on. A surge in the mobile restaurant biz is being sighted across the country, fueled by inflated commercial leases and hungry epicureans watching their diets and budgets.

From Korean BBQ to gourmet cupcakes and Vietnamese-style sandwiches, the cafes on wheels are gearing up for success in an age of time crunches, lay-offs and convenience. Sure, most are cookin’ with gas and motoring with it, but a growing number are eco wise in terms of fuel alternatives, kitchen appliances and healthy ingredients.

Green Truck on the Go caters to an organic food crowd, working from a solar-powered commissary and delivering in two trucks powered by vegetable oil and bio-diesel.

“At Green Truck, serving healthy, gourmet organic food in a fast and efficient way is not enough,” says the company. “We believe that a healthy environment is tantamount to living a healthy life.” This business furthers its commitment by using locally-grown ingredients whenever possible and opting for biodegradable containers and utensils.

Even the classic hot dog from a stand is getting in the act. Let’s Be Frank offers weenies made from grass-fed organic beef from its trailers in hip L.A. hoods, including one right outside Silver Lake Wine where diners gather to taste the grape and down a dog; and the Franken Stand sells to L.A. vegans who gobble up its 100% plant-based vegan franks. No mystery meat Dodger dogs for these discerning customers.

L.A. blazed the trail in the roadside food trend, as described in a round-up in the L.A. Times. Yet, the convoys are making their way to a city near you.   USA Today highlighted the greatest places to flag down a feast in a recent food watch spread.

O the map: The upscale Chef Shark trailer found Saturday mornings at Minneapolis’ Mill City Farmers Market; Flip Happy Crepes in Austin, Texas (below), which serves hand-made savory crepes and fresh French-pressed coffee from its parking space on Josephine Street; and Moxie RX in Portland, Oregon, known for great brunch fare on wheels such as buckwheat waffles, grapefruit juice with basil and soda and healthy smoothies blended with bananas, dates and almond butter.

The good news is this is no sideshow where anything goes, like carny refreshment booths. Food trucks must meet health inspection restaurant standards.

One blogger fan of the trailer grub, who works in the Public Health environmental health division, commented that it’s even easier for the informed public to judge a mobile cafe than to know what truly goes on in the kitchen of a restaurant. “You can see for yourself if somebody is handling your ready-to-eat food with bare hands or committing other cruddy violations,” he says.

I wondered about that at my friend’s birthday party when I was handed the plate of steaming tacos. The operation looked pretty clean to me. Was it really organic? Guess I’ll have to take their word for it. At least it beat the ubiquitous party buffet in terms of the temptation towards gluttony. Nobody wanted to wait in the long truck line again for seconds.

Images: Jason Lam, L.A. Times, Let’s Be Frank, Flip Happy Crepes

You gonna eat that? Research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that once planted in the wild, genetically modified organisms, such as bio-engineered fruit, grain or vegetables can change native, wild plant neighbors’ DNA. In the future, food activists worry, you might not even have a dietary choice.

A flurry of news stories, blog posts and Tweets have “cropped up” in recent weeks around this study and related events. Even teenagers are dialed into the debate over the merits and dangers of GMOs, says Jenny Kessler, who founded and directs the Garden Program at The Automotive High School in Brooklyn, New York.

Kessler teaches English, ESL and a class called “Food, Land and You.” Through this coursework or participation in the Garden Program, Automotive students learn about farming and industrial agriculture and gain hands-on experience cultivating and cooking food.

“Some of my students agree with economist Jeffrey Sachs that genetically modified crops should be used to alleviate world hunger now, since they can grow on depleted land in bad conditions,” Kessler says, “but most are concerned that GMOs aren’t tested enough before they enter our mainstream food supply. Or they worry that modified seeds and cross-pollination will make natural products scarce and expensive, or even extinct.”

The Garden Program group (as seen on Flickr.com/autogarden) wishes for – after a personal visit from Anna Lappe or Michael Pollan – better information about the effect of modified crops on human and plant health, and to inspire Americans to buy more locally produced food.

Basic reading:

“A report by a team from the United States and China appears in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, [where] researchers point out that gene flow between crops and their wild relatives is common and difficult to contain. They note concerns that wild plants could, as a result, gain genetically engineered resistances. And these could affect the natural balance in their environment.” -VOA Special English Agriculture Report transcript

“While disease-resistant crops have been a boon to commercial farmers, ecologists worry there might be certain hidden costs associated with the modified crops. There is concern in the ecological community that, when the transgenes that confer resistance to viral diseases escape into wild populations, they will (change) those plants…and impact the biodiversity of plant communities where wild [plants] are native.” -US News And World Report feature

“Bayer CropScience AG is responsible for financial damage sustained by Missouri farmers when their rice crops were contaminated by genetically modified seeds, the growers’ lawyer told a federal court jury in St. Louis…Testing of one of the ‘LibertyLink’ [rice] strains at Louisiana State University was completed in 2001. While there has never been a specifically identified contamination event…studies suggest an event of cross-pollination with ordinary rice or a mixing of regular and genetically modified seed occurred then.” -Bloomberg news story

“The number of people affected by food shortages is starting to rise again. Is the solution a new biotech version of the Green Revolution, or a green Green Revolution based on organic farming?” -BoingBoing.net opinion, discussion

“The debate over genetically modified crops has flared up in India, where critics have stalled the commercial release of insect-resistant eggplant, despite recent approval from the country’s biotechnology regulatory committee.” -Scienceline.org news feature

“This week the Royal Society, the UK’s national academy of science, called for an extra £2bn to be spent on research into global food security. In order to achieve the estimated 50% increase in food crop production that will be required by 2050, the society is calling for a grand plan that involves developing…crop varieties using conventional breeding and genetic modification.” -Small Cap News profile of the company Futura Gene

Further resources:

”..Say No to GMOs” Natural News blog opinion

The website of The Center For Food Safety (CFS) a D.C.-based organization that lobbies for slow food, organic and sustainable farming practices, and against “harmful food production technologies.”

Food activist Anna Lappe’s website

Economist Jeffrey Sachs’ official bio, including recent news by and about him

Changemakers.com GMO competition page soliciting “solutions that educate consumers about what they’re eating, and the effect their food choices will have on the environment and society”: includes profiles of the winning ideas (via Ashoka.com)

Editor’s note: This is the second installment of EcoMeme, a column featuring eco news, tech and business highlights by new EcoSalon writer and columnist Lora Kolodny.

Image: liangjinjian

Getting Purelled is the growing phenomenon of sanitizing one’s germ-infested mitts with the alcohol-based, Johnson & Johnson product known as Purell.

What’s in the name, William Safire students might ask?

Pure, I imagine, denotes the opposite of tainted, which in flu terms translates into ralphing, the runs and the unpleasant sensation of having been poisoned by Satan. Elle is French for she, as in, she is cruel that H1N1 Virus, widespread in 47 states now. Elle also is a swank Fifties ad-on, like ette for dinette. It sounds real classy.

I first heard the term the other day after ordering my teenage daughter to wash her hands after school. She’s a nail biter, more susceptible than most.

“I just got purelled,” she explained, exhibiting a jellyfish-like, residue bubble in her palm, which she kept afloat because she was undoubtedly fascinated by its staying power.  She has been studying chemistry in school. And I believe pathogen is one of her SAT terms.

Sydney and her peers happily take advantage of the economy, vat-sized, plastic dispensers of the waterless germ fighter stationed in every nook and cranny of her school, from the bathrooms to the cafeteria, library and gym.

At the campus’s recent Grandparents Day buffet breakfast, I watched an elderly dude mistake the jug O’Purell for carbonated water, carelessly pumping a shot into his cup with a puzzled visage. I gently intervened to set him straight. “You don’t want to drink that, Mister.”

The sanitizer, albeit refreshing upon contact with the skin, is not desirable as a beverage, no matter how much the Dunder Mifflinaholic, Meredith Baxter, of The Office fame ingests it for its alcohol content.

Getting purelled sounds ironically similar to getting paroled. In fact, a link exists when you consider hand purifying might prevent weeks off from school, a form of prison for parents who can’t do squat during the duration of the relatively mild but ubiquitously feared illness. I know as a mom who recently emerged from the trenches with her Swine Flu-infected youngest.

“Mommy, I’m bored! Mommy, stop working, I’m bored! ” I call it Purell hell.

In an aggressive no-tolerance approach, our school armed itself with endless stockpiles of the weapon at the beginning of the year hoping it might slow what it cannot prevent. While the CDC says there are  plenty of the H1N1 vaccines to go around, many parents apparently prefer that surefire killer, Purell.

“I definitely think it has slowed down the spread since contact between these kids is so constant, maybe each child is contacting 20 others throughout the day,”  says Dr. David Abusch-Magder, the head of middle school at Brandeis Hillel Day School in San Francisco.

At least the school, which has an impressive recycling and composting program, is using refillable containers. If you must invest is this much plastic, you might as well maximize its shelf life.

In addition to schools,  I’ve spotted the dispensers just about everywhere these days, from Trader Joe’s checkout counters to business offices, exercise studios and even in the cup holder of my own car.  The truth is there is no place to avoid the risk of contamination. Many organisms continue to thrive in my car despite the Purell.

Another truth is that we are creating a population of Purelled humans immune to the small percentage of bacteria resistant to the liquid. Bacteria that don’t die simply reproduce.

Let’s just hope we can conceive of  a way to upcycle all of those plastic dispensers once we are restored.

This is the latest installment in Luanne’s column, Life in the Green Lane.

Top image: The Local

Image One:Upyernoz

Is the greening of Apple skin deep, or does it run to the core? The mobile and computing device juggernaut released its fall 2009 Macbook laptop and iMac desktop computer recently, touting “environmental,” among other desirable features in each.

These include: a polycarbonate case, longer life battery and LED-backlit display in the laptop, and the use of mercury-free glass and other “highly recyclable” materials for the desktop.

The flurry of comments that follow every Apple release and product review, web-wide, included questions about how well the computer juggernaut is doing from an environmental point of view. Especially considering the company just reported that in a single quarter, it had raked in $1.67 billion in profits!

Is Apple taking a green enough approach to be lauded? Or should they be called out for green-washing?

The head of the department of Technology Management at New York University’s Polytechnic Institute, Prof. Bharat Rao, says of course, “Apple has a vested interest in making a connection with their customer and upholding their image as a responsible, friendly brand.”  But, “It is still a great thing that they are now sharing information about their environmental impact, and seem to be conscious of the waste footprint of their products, and energy used through the full lifecycle.”

Rao like others still wishes for more green leadership from Apple. It could use retail stores to accept and recycle computers and displays, for example, not just iPods, he says.

Tune in to other ideas and debates surrounding Apple’s green marketing. And weigh in on the matter here.

Basic reading:

“Dragged kicking and screaming into the [eco] movement, Apple…removed the vast majority of toxic chemicals from its desktops…While it looks similar to other vendors in terms of content, it doesn’t have much of a disposal program—and since it doesn’t have removable batteries for its laptops anymore, safely disposing of them would be relatively expensive.” – @Macnewsworld.com feature story

“The 13.3-inch display, at 1,280×800, is now LED backlit (making that a standard feature across the entire Apple laptop lineup), which is better for both power consumption and environmental concerns.” – @CNET Macbook Fall 2009 review

“Battery Life and Wi-Fi…On our LAPTOP Battery Test, the MacBook lasted 5 hours and 10 minutes in Snow Leopard. That runtime is nearly two hours short of the Apple’s claim…” – @LAPTOP magazine Macbook Fall 2009 review

“Although it is a monster in size, [the fall 2009 iMac] has improved upon the previous iMac’s already stunning looks.”  – @Computerworld iMac Fall 2009 blog review

“Every new Mac is claimed to meet the strict low-power requirements of the Energy Star specification….[But] how much does ‘green computing’ matter to consumers…and [does] corporate marketing of ‘green’ IT devices amount to more image-spinning than substance?” – @TheAppleBlog.com opinion editorial

“[The] Clean Production Action and ChemSec have issued a report that highlights Apple as one of seven companies that lead the pack in terms of eliminating toxic substances from electronic products. The group said: ‘Apple established an innovative program that restricts the use of nearly all bromine and chlorine compounds across all their product lines…and offers computers that are free of BFRs and most uses of PVC.’” – @9to5mac feature story

Further resources:
iMac official press release @Apple via PRNewswire
Macbook Fall 2009 specs @Everymac.com, Guide to Greener Electronics’ Apple listings,
Apple First to Eliminate Toxic PVC @Greenpeace blogs

Editor’s note: This is the first installment of EcoMeme, a column featuring eco news, tech and business highlights by new EcoSalon writer and columnist Lora Kolodny.

Image: Andrew

America runs on coal. It creates half of our electricity. And the unclean technology producing this source may be killing our children, grandchildren and the future unborn, not to mention our natural environment.

Is the fed sensing the urgency to limit the damage from this source we depend upon?

Not according to three environmental groups looking for clean coal technology. They are planning to sue the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for being blatantly lax in limiting toxic discharges from power plants that threaten the health of local communities exposed daily to the pollutants.

According to Planet Shifter, the federal government is 26 years behind setting restrictions on the discharges which contaminate ground and surface waters and threaten aquatic life. Apparently, the EPA should have limited coal ash discharges to meet its own requirements for annual environmental reviews.

Back in December when a coal ash spill occurred at the Tennessee Kingston Fossil Plant, EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson promised to issue regulations by the end of the year for nearly 600 coal plants with on-site coal ash storage ponds or landfills.

But the three groups planning to sue: the Defenders of Wildlife, the Sierra Club and the Environmental Integrity Project argue “the EPA need to stop kicking the can down the road and set a date for the regulation.”

There is evidence that these coal plants discharge millions of pounds of toxic pollutants every year. According to the report, in  Kingston, alone, more than 5.4 million cubic yards of coal ash spilled from a coal-ash holding pond last December when a earthen wall ruptured. The ash contains elevated levels of arsenic, selenium and lead, among other toxic substances.

In a 60 Minutes investigation on harmful waste by-products from coal, it was revealed that the tremendous amount we burn for electricity every year generates 130 million tons of waste. They even interviewed coal barons who have become rich off coal, who admitted being responsible for those smoke stacks that pump out 100-million tons of carbon dioxide every year.

Most of the waste emitted from power stations  is coal ash which is dangerous to humans and other living things. Environmental scientists tell us that the concentrations of mercury, arsenic, lead and other toxic metals are considerably higher in coal ash than in ordinary soil.

When properly disposed of  in dry, lined impoundments, coal ash is considered to be safe. But observers say it is often dumped into wet ponds (nearly 500 of them in the U.S.)  and in those cases the ash could pose health risks to the nearby communities.

Images: Tennessee Valley Authority, Earth Observatory, NASA

You know what it’s like to live green. You eat organic food, carry a reusable bag to the grocery store and haven’t touched a plastic bottle to your lips since before Obama had a White House address. But living green in a brown world is tough.

For example, maybe you can’t find a favorite organic wine at the farmer’s market, so you visit a huge supermarket chain. Can you still find the greenest wine, and if so, who has the most organic, dry-farm and sustainable grapes? Has your head exploded yet?

Not to worry. Greenopia, the web’s largest directory of green/organic/sustainable brands, is just a click away. Greenopia publishes extensive national green business, product and brand directories, as well as offering up a green web community, news articles, blogs and tips to help everyone eat, shop and live green. (Full disclosure:  I also write for Greenopia. I expect to actually turn green any day now.)

Greenopia was founded in 2005 by Gay Browne, a lifelong asthmatic who began her green journey searching for ways to improve the living environment of both her and her kids. As Gay tells it, “I want to help people lead healthier lives in an increasingly toxic world.”

And she has. Greenopia has developed guides for Los Angeles, the San Francisco Bay Area and New York City, with plans underway for a 20-city rollout that includes Chicago, Denver, Seattle, Portland and more.

How does it work? First, pick your city. You’ll find general ratings on things like cars, gifts, jewelry, as well as brand ratings on items like coffee, beer and wine. The brand ratings even expand to look at the greenest colleges, airlines, oil companies, fast food restaurants and more.

Products and businesses are assessed to determine their overall greenness using a “four-leaf” rating system. Four leaves means said product or brand meets the most stringent criteria. A one-leaf rating says not so green and meets a minimum qualifying standard.

So if want a piece of pizza, Greenopia will find you a green pizzeria, a greener pizzeria, and the greenest pizzeria of all.

And finally, you can access Greenopia 24/7. The company recently debuted the Greenopia iPhone application. It provides a handheld guide to over 1,000 stores and businesses in the Los Angeles area – the rest of the country will be added soon.

Get instant reviews, information and links. Your carbon footprint will thank you!

Where would Malibu be without its surfers and where would its surfers be without safe water?

That’s part of the driving energy behind the Legacy Park project. Construction has been launched this week as veteran wave riders joined Malibu City Council to reduce stormwater pollution in Malibu Creek, Malibu Lagoon and world-famous Surfrider Beach.

According to the L.A. Times, the sand breaking drew pioneering surfers Cal Porter and Richard Davis as well as Los Angeles County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky, state Sen. Fran Pavley (D-Agoura Hills), Assemblywoman Julia Brownley (D-Santa Monica) and Malibu-ite Victoria Principal.

The cost of the major undertaking: $50 million. The benefits of cleaning polluted ocean waters by October 2010? Priceless!

“Legacy Park is going to act as Malibu’s environmental cleaning machine,” said Mayor Andy Stern. “It will reduce pollution from stormwater, improve the city’s water quality, and allow residents to enjoy the health and recreation benefits of an open space area and a clean ocean.”

The City of Malibu envisioned a central park that functioned like an environmental cleaning machine to reduce pollution impacts and improve water quality in areas used daily by residents and tourists from around the world. This following a lawsuit last year by two environmental groups (The Natural Resources Defense Council, NRDC, and the Santa Monica Baykeeper) to stop allowing urban runoff carrying bacteria and toxins to flow into coastal waters.

The groups argued urban runoff  is the major culprit of coastal water pollution and contact with the pathogens and chemicals, such as cyanide, aluminum and fecal coliform, sickens beachgoers and damages marine life.

The motto of the project: It’s a central park. It’s an oasis. It’s an environmental cleaning machine.

The goal is for Legacy Park to transform 15 acres in the Malibu Civic Center area into a park and stormwater treatment facility, one that captures and cleans more than 2 million gallons a day of stormwater and urban runoff. The water is disinfected and then recycled.

The City says Malibu Legacy Park will be “the only park in California where five coastal natural habitats are linked and accessible: the ocean, lagoon, stream, seasonal wetland and coastal bluffs, and where the development of five habitats on-site will serve as an outdoor educational and living learning center.”

The park will also be a civic attraction with an amphitheater, a Malibu culture commemorative area and educational kiosks.

The City is still seeking donations to support the project. A gift of $500 or more will get you recognition on the park’s permanent honor wall.

Membership in the Legacy Leadership Circle, which is limited to 100 families, begins at $25,000.

Naming opportunities in the park are available for gifts of more than $25,000.

Donations of $5,000 or more are eligible for our three-year pledge program.

Contact the Legacy Park Campaign at (310) 456-2489, ext. 232, or email info@malibulegacy.org.

Main Image: Pnoeric

Image One: City of Malibu

Is there a hole in the heart of that beloved camel cashmere from your freshman year at Stanford?

Don’t become unraveled! The crafty set – people like Stefanie Girard, who wrote Sweater Surgery – take the green approach to spinning yarns, reconfiguring new objects d’smart from those ratty pullovers that once warmed our bones.

Handwash your old sweater (I like to use baby shampoo) and treat it for unsightly coffee or red wine stains. Then circumvent those Jarlsberg cheese holes in the wool and make something cool!

Here’s a look at 10 reclamations, from Ugly Dolls to pretty petal pins:

1. Stuffed Toys

A favorite project at Brandeis Hillel Day School in San Francisco, parents are asked to contribute old sweaters for the students to conjure their own, arty Ugly Dolls. My own 10-year-old, Lauren, made this creature in just a couple of days and they instantly became BBF’s.

2. Bitchen Boatneck

Deborah Lindquist makes her groovy dog wraps from recycled cashmere sweaters, and you can do it, too. Just find a square without holes and make two for the front legs. Then your pet can walk the walk!

3. Beaded Cuff

I love this upscale take on the 70s tennis sweat band. The beaded cuff woven by Olive Brown is simple to make, by cutting your own elongated rectangle from your rescued sweater, stitching the borders and embellishing with beads or other hot glue glam.

4. Pet Bed

Lately, my pug has taken to sleeping in the laundry basket. Why not take your old sweaters and other scraps and make a patchwork pet bed, like Apartment Therapy suggests? Gather an assortment of old sweaters and a pillow and get working on that soft place for your pooch to land.

5. Pullover Coasters

Olive Brown made these from a shrunken woman’s fair aisle v-neck pullover. The set of eight, sold at Etsy, is something you can also try to make by cutting the circles and top-stitching the front, leaving a zigzag stitch on the back. The edges are finished with an overlock stitch.

6. Snuggly Slippers

Follow the footsteps of Craft Stylish, and avoid booties made from yucky  synthetic materials. These old woolen slippers are stitched with love. All you need is paper, a pen, scissors, an old sweater, thread, a machine, a scarp of yarn and a crochet hook. Have fun padding around!

7. Doll Clothes

If you or your child can knit, this book from Amazon provides patterns and ideas. I always loved sewing my own Barbie clothes from discarded items that wound up in our rag box. Let your kids try their hand at Project Runway ensembles using old sweaters. Try some lederhosen for that Heidi doll!

8. Flower Brooch

Thick rose wool felt from a rescued cardigan is paired with a heavy vintage bronze shank button in this classic flower. Found at Etsy, you can arrange your own floral jewelry with scissors, glue and a pin from your neighborhood craft store. Add a center flourish and attach to blazer lapel. You grow, girl!

9. Cell Phone Cozy

Craftbits is calling! Pick up and read the steps for making your own, fetching felted mobile phone pouch with a key ring at the top for attaching to jeans or your purse.

10. Teapot Cozy

We adore these at EcoSalon and even touted the beauty of the pot sweater for Mother’s Day this year. This one from Etsy is ideal because the pretty blue yarn is washable. Accented by a handknit multicolored flower with a vintage button for the center, it’s about 19 inches around and stretches over a 4″-to-6″ teapot. Not handy with a needle? Ask a friend to help.

Main Image: Amazon

Chemical-free water disinfection is less harmful to the environment and to workers in plants of industries that depend on ridding water of pathogens – such as food and beverage, dairy, aquaculture and municipal drinking water providers. In other words, why use chemicals to get rid of chemicals?

A Hydro-Optic Disinfection system, developed by the Israeli company, Atlantium, appears to offer a more efficient method for industrial-grade solutions to water micro-organism purification, along with significant cost savings health protection. Filtration and ultraviolet light replaces using chemicals with great results.

The method, using quarts crystals, is able to achieve a uniform distribution of a high intensity ultra-violet light throughout a water sample. The crystals ensure that UV rays are lengthened and bounced back and forth, repeatedly, while engineering a hydraulic flow to make sure water flows in a controlled pattern that is timed to match the UV light distribution.

Sounds complicated, but according to Clean Technica, it all means it is impossible for any micro-organisms to escape detection and being dosed and eradicated.

Experts tell us the aquaculture industry is pursuing  pathogen-free water because high water quality means healthier fish, higher survival and growth rates and a reduction in the use of antibiotics.

Alantium was founded in 2003 with the goal of  contributing to the environment by providing safe water disinfection solutions. Its customer base using the water purification installations extends to Europe, the U.S. Latin America, the Middle East and Australia.

Images: Eyeneer, Rob Wakefield

How do I love thee? Let me count the watts!

And so it goes when betrothed to a well-meaning eco sentinel, a man on a mission to recognize the dangers and combat the plagues of global warming.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m very committed to a greener lifestyle. I write for EcoSalon (Exhibit A) and turn off the tap when brushing my teeth (Exhibit B). I recycle, compost, carpool and use bath towels at least twice before washing. I rest my case.

Still,  I never figured the “other woman” in my marriage would be our beloved Mother Earth, a demanding temptress in constant need of love and attention.

Image: E.L. Bradley

Here’s a  list of  the ups and downs of my low energy/high drama, marital life – one  fraught with the challenges of not just getting along with a spouse but also saving a beleaguered planet.

Pro: I have learned everything I ever wanted to know about sustainable living, including never wearing  flip-flops when I leave the house because you can’t outrun a tsunami in these poolside-only shoes.

Con: Vigorous beach walks are often disrupted by his loud, pedantic diatribes on the dangers of the sea level rising due to melting ice and the heating and expansion of the ocean. “This will all be under water, soon enough,” he observes. Sometimes a gal  just wants to talk about the pretty day or how many calories she’s burning.

Image: Cutco

Pro: It can be quite romantic preparing and eating dinner together in the dark.

Con: It’s tricky wielding sharp Cutco blades to chop organic vegetables assisted only by the flick of a BIC® . I have a tendency to turn the lights back on to see better and that can cause some friction in the relationship.

Image: Edressme

Pro: There is tons of space in the closet and dresser for my stylish dresses, tops, swimsuits, lingerie, shorts, shoe troves and workout clothes.

Con: His one purchase in five years, a cruelty-free patchwork vest from Haight Street, is embarrassing at black-tie events. I know, I know, I should be less conventional, but I do miss the Brooks Brothers-clad Ken Doll I married. Give him back, earth lady! Ken was the best prop a stylish girl ever had.

Pro: All this frugal living has greatly lowered the utility bills.

Con: My living room is the Tundra. “Hey, it’s summer in the City, honey,” I complain, teeth chattering, frost accumulating on my bob. He jokes, “You aren’t cold, you’re just dying.” Very funny, Ken. Toss another blanket on your Barbie, mate, while we await those solar panels.

Pro: Fuel-efficient bike riding has greatly aided my summer weight loss program. Where did my big butt go? Anyone seen it? Anyone seen a big Jewish tush?

Con: The uphill battle of saving energy is murder. His legs are iron.  That’s why he can climb the Alps of San Francisco saddled with a backpack of groceries without a huff or a puff. Damn him!

Image: Wiki

Pro: I’m not tied to one of those superficial yuppies who talks about money and deals at dinner parties, has a wandering eye or sports tacky pinkie rings on our jaunts to Vegas.

Con: I never get Yurman jewelry from Neiman’s on my birthday; flights to the Four Seasons in Mexico are replaced by short getaways to rustic cabins at Costanoa; we have to walk to the Avenue for dinner or take the train downtown (sometimes scary) even though my legs are sore from biking. His old, 8-cylinder Mercedes remains lifeless in the garage. He refuses to sell it ’cause someone else will drive the gas hog.

Pro: Eco sentinals  are virile, sexy real men – like Jack Sparrow and Paul Watson. They give great massages, build toasty fires and have that fresh, Tom’s Toothpaste breath.

Con: You are on board as first mate every day of your life whether you like it or not. Once they get their hooks in you, their whale wars are your whale wars. Hence, a simple walk at the beach, trek through a forest or hour of CNN will never be the same again.

Main image: CarbonNYC